Did you find this answer helpful? Subscribe to keep up with all things Lifelong Learning.
My son is in 6th grade. He is an excellent athlete and loves playing on sports teams. His grades are slipping badly. We have a tutor working with him. He gets mad if tutoring interrupts and sports practice and sometimes shuts down. We are struggling with trying to get him to focus on academics. Are their strategies you can recommend?
Given that the question is quite general, here are a few general thoughts:
- It can be useful to find the things that motivate your child (in this case possibly athletics) and use those as an incentive. For example, could the child identify a piece of sports equipment or a sporting event that they would like to “earn” with demonstrated commitment to tutoring or improved performance in school?
- It makes sense that the student would be frustrated by tutoring interfering with sports. To the extent possible, it would be wise to allow time for both. This child may feel joy and success on the sports field and not so much with academics. Trying to replace athletics with tutoring will only further frustrate the child rather than enhance what they are naturally excelling in (sports) and then adding in academics.
- Can the tutor find any ways to incorporate sports into the content? For example, can they do the tutoring outside while throwing or kicking a ball? Can they use sports examples to bring the work to life?
- Often when children get frustrated with school, parents respond by getting frustrated and angry. This often just leads to a vicious spiral of increased frustration. It can be more effective if the parent approaches the situation with a “collaborative problem solving” approach – i.e., first acknowledge and validate the child’s feelings, then work together with them to identify ways to problem solve. Children often respond best when they feel they have choice and control in a situation, even if parents limit the “menu” of choices to things that would be good for all – e.g., You have a choice of whether to do your homework before or after sports practice, what works best for you? You have a choice of whether to do tutoring during the week or on the weekend, which do you think is best?
