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Hello, I have a 10 year old who's self confident, happy, smart, has friends. She's fine being on her own as well as having friends around. However, there is one problem, which is academic motivation. She doesn't like learning, she doesn't care how her grades are. She's not competitive either ambitions. I've seen other kids who are not eager in learning, but they want to be the best in their class, so they put effort in studying. My child isn't one of them as she simply doesn't care. She has all A's, and one B in the half term, which is not bad, but that's only because I remind her of studying for a test, I also study with her, otherwise, she wouldn't do it. I've tried rewarding when she gets good marks, but she got bored of it, so it doesn't work any more. Punishment in form of taking her phone away or don't allowing watching cartoons don't work either. She's happy playing with toys in her room for hours. She is very self sufficient. On one side, I'm glad to see her so happy by being on her own, not being dependent on anyone, on the other hand I don't know any more how to make her study. Is there any way at all to motivate a lazy child to study? Thanks!
It sounds like your daughter has the wonderful ability to perform very well academically without putting a lot of time into studying. Sometimes students exhibit signs of boredom and lack of interest when they find the work “too easy”. We are wondering, is she being challenged enough in her classes?
The idea of “studying” may be a bit abstract even for a very intelligent 10 year old. Define for her what studying means for a given class or assignment. Does it mean reading the whole textbook chapter? Memorizing spelling words? Finishing a math worksheet? Teaching her techniques for studying, such as making colorful flashcards or silly mnemonics, could be a fun interactive way to help her begin establishing habits.
Structuring your daughter’s daily routine can also help. Establishing a household rule that homework or studying always gets done during a predictable daily time block can be helpful. Offer a few common times when you are able to monitor and help her study, and let her choose which one she would like to set as her study or homework block. Which block she picks is up to her, but the need to complete a study block on selected days is not. Once selected, it becomes a household rule (if she has siblings, the rule should be the same for all). Use calm “start-up commands” to let her know that the time block is approaching (e.g., “Its 4:45. In 15 minutes it will be time to put away your toy and pull out your assignment sheet”), and praise her for starting her session on time (“It makes me happy when you start your homework on time. That will help make sure you can go to your friend’s house after dinner.”).
Speaking of praise, kudos to you for using rewards to help motivate your daughter! Rewards can be a great tool to encourage behaviors that we would like to see more of, however, for some children, they get bored with the same rewards pretty quickly. Perhaps ask your daughter what type of rewards would motivate her and switch up the rewards from week to week to see if that helps to maintain her interest. Consider using small daily tokens, like stickers or a point system, that can be traded in for larger, less frequent items (e.g., a special Saturday afternoon outing) in the future. This way, with your daughter’s input, you can “refresh” the menu of those larger items periodically but keep your daily system in place.
Unfortunately, some students just find school to be a bit boring and not very meaningful. It can help if parents help connect what they are studying to their current interests, and also to their future goals. What type of interests does your daughter have? What type of career options are available that coincide with those interests? Perhaps she can engage in job shadowing or talking to other people in those careers to find out more about how they got to where they are today.
Most importantly, remember that she is still young. Low academic motivation now does not mean that your daughter will always lack ambition. Eventually, she will likely begin to find academic pursuits she enjoys and to thrive.
